A Product of War
by kathryny
Summary: A post Mockingjay pre epilogue fic about Gale and from his perspective


In those last few days I see little of Katniss. I wasn't allowed to see her, to be near her room or to be anywhere near where it is in the mansion. The last time I saw Katniss I didn't see Katniss. She was in the hospital covered in bandages and in a drug induced sleep. It wasn't her. Beetee makes good use of me. Together we set up a communications room in another part of the mansion and from there we broadcast Katniss's trial to all of Panem. Everday we see Plutarch speaking so eloquently about Katniss and all that she's been through. It's a lost cause though and Beetee and I know it. Plutarch may talk about Katniss and her all that she has been through and it may be eloquent but it will never be enough to account for her killing the leader of Panem. On the last day the verdict is read, guilty as charged, as expected. Later that day the sentence comes down, exiled to District 12 or at least what remains of it with Haymitch.

I sprint to my room and once I get there I break down. For weeks I have held it, I have been strong but I can't do it anymore. I cry for many people, for Prim and for Finnick but most of all I cry for Katniss. My hunting partner and closest friend is now broken and banished to the remains of District 12 and I can't do anything to change that. I also cry for me. I cry for the all love I have for Katniss that I know will never be requited, for the loss of my closest friend and because of the guilt I feel about knowing my bombs played a part in all this.

I don't know how long I've shut myself in this room but suddenly Beetee is here. He lifts me up and drags me to the bathroom where he throws me in the bathtub and turns on the cold water. The water is a shock to my system but it brings me out of the dazed state I've been in as I think its intent was.

"You need to clean yourself up. You have things you need to do and Paylor wants to see you personally," he says quietly.

At first it takes me a minute to remember who Paylor is. Paylor the rebel Katniss and I fought with in District 8. Paylor the new leader of Panem.

"What does she want to see me for?" I ask loudly.

"I don't know. All I know is that it's important. Now take off these dirty clothes and put on some clean ones." He says this and then he leaves.

I do as he says. I take off my dirty and now wet clothes, shut the water off, dry myself and go and change.

The clothes I pick out are simple. Just a plain white button down shirt and black pants but they're clean and that's what Beetee wanted. He didn't say ornate or ironed he just said clean.

At the end of the hall Beetee is waiting for me and when he sees me he waves me over. He looks me over as I walk towards him but says nothing. I think he's just glad to see me out. When I reach him he starts walking away and I follow.

"We're going to Paylor's office," he says not really looking at me.

I notice as we're walking that Beetee walks with a limp and a cane now. His leg is stiff from the Games and the war and age of course.

Paylor's Office –

"As you know we are rebuilding Panem. The rebellion we were apart of destroyed this nation and now it is our duty to rebuild it. You two are the best communications men we have and we need you."

Beetee and I sit in two chairs across from Paylor's desk in her office. From I've heard this used to be Snow's office but any trace of him is gone. It doesn't smell like roses, the walls are completely bare and the curtains are opened onto the gardens outside. With these changes this certainly doesn't seem like it would be the office of President Snow.

One the other side of the desk Paylor stands looking between me and Beetee. "I have assignments for you: jobs for you to do and places I want you to go and though you will be in different places you will be working together," she states.

"Where do you want us to go?" Beetee asks meekly.

A small smile creeps onto her face. "Beetee I want you to go back to District 3. It's your home, they're your people and you are their victor. They need you. You'll be doing what you've always done, maintaining the communications system and improving on it."

I look at Beetee after she says this and I see him smile. He must be happy to be going home.

"Gale," she says turning to me. "You'll be going to District 2. You'll be helping rebuild it and specifically the helping reset up the communications system there. You both leave today." When she says District 2 I am shocked. I helped destroy it and now I have to go back and rebuild. Those people must hate me or they would if they knew. Now I have to go live there.

District 2 –

Things changed quickly. After the meeting Beetee and I had only a short time to gather our things and say goodbye to each other before we took separate hovercrafts to the districts Paylor assigned us to. On the hovercraft I think of Beetee. I am jealous of him. He has a home to go back to, a life waiting for him where he's going and I don't. I also think of Katniss. I think of the last time I saw her, the last time we hunted and what she must be doing in District 12. I miss her a lot.

The days are very similar in District 2. I go to work, I come home, I try to forget. For a while it works I do forget. Then I come home one day and there it is, the loneliness I was trying to forget. I try to push the feeling aside, to bury it deep like I always have but it's still there. The next day when I come home it's there. It's sitting in the chairs, it's in the bedroom. I can't escape it. So for the first time I alcohol and I drink until all the loneliness has disappeared. The next day I feel the same and drink until the loneliness disappears. Day after day I do this. But soon that becomes harder to do. So I drink more and more. The days blur together but still I drink wanting the loneliness to go away.

One day I wake up and standing in front of me is Beetee. He walks over to me and picks me up and takes me to the shower where he turns it on cold and throws me in like he did after Katniss' sentencing. He doesn't say anything he just does this and leaves me to my cold shower but he doesn't leave completely. I hear him ruffling around in the kitchen

.

For the next couple days, all Beetee does is stay with me and for the first time in months I don't drink. The night after he showed up we talked. He told me he understood how I felt because he lost someone he loved in the war too but that drinking wasn't the answer. He told me how Paylor was close to firing me because I wasn't doing my job but that he had convinced her to let him come here and try to help me before she did that. So for the next couple weeks Beetee stays with me and works with me. I sober up and slowly the loneliness goes away.

After about a month Beetee goes back to District 3. The day after that is when I meet her and everything changed for the better. I still think of Katniss from time to time but not as much and I still miss her but not as much.


End file.
